Stars and Smoke
by eosdawnaurora
Summary: Sakura confides in Kakashi, but it takes years for him to come to her when she really needs him. Written for the KakaSaku Anonymous Challenge on LJ.
1. Stars

"It started with a bang; a big, big bang and everything in the universe came into being. That's what they say. It's kind of sad don't you think?"

Orange tiles scraped against each other as Sakura rocked forward a little, resting her chin on her knees and looking over at Kakashi. Icha Icha Tactics was out but it was covering his face as he lay on his back. He hadn't moved, not even to look over as she hopped up on the old hotel's roof to join him.

"What's sad? And who are 'they'?" he said, voice muffled by mask and book. He sounded a little irritated that she was disturbing his nap to talk about cosmology. She knew she should get to the point.

It was easy enough to ignore his vexed tone - she wouldn't even be contemplating the stars if he'd been inside when she went looking for him. But there was only one room and the other members of their team - two nin she barely knew, but knew each other well enough and they were bickering. It was almost midnight, she didn't know why he didn't just order them to shut up.

At least it was nice out, warm on the edge of hot, but not muggy and a dark clear sky. The stars were so bright because of how far from civilization they had traveled. Any further north and they'd be in the Waterfall Country.

"My science books. Think about it, all this matter just flying apart, stars and galaxies just getting farther and farther away from each other forever."

Kakashi pulled the book down far enough to rest against his chin, but he still wasn't looking at her. "I guess it just depends on which theory you support. Entropy is pretty hard to get around, but who knows, maybe it'll all get sucked together again. Who cares anyway? On that sort of scale we're just ants on a log. It's not happy or sad, it just is."

She thought he might be understanding, but he was displaying his pragmatic side instead of the romantic one tonight. "But think about how relationships are like that. Once you've gotten as close as you can to someone, all your hearts can do is move apart from each other from that point on."

He finally looked over at her. "Heh. Interesting analogy, but ultimately untrue. There are lots of people in my life I know way, way too well and they haven't gone anywhere. So what happened?"

He was as perceptive as he was full of shit. "What makes you think something happened?"

"The last time you talked to me like this you were still a genin and your friends were trying to kill each other. So I'll repeat the question. What happened?"

"Well, um. I did _it_." Sakura hoped her meaning would carry over in her tone, so she didn't have to be too explicit. She was already taking a big enough risk coming to him.

"It? Oh _that_," he said. "With who?"

"Sadowara Yuki. You probably don't know him. He's a medical nin – mostly does surgery." Her teacher probably didn't want to know how gorgeous Yuki was, how amazing his hands were, all the naughty sex-related chakra tricks he'd shown her, or that he was six years older than she was.

"Don't be so sure about that, I know a lot of people. Especially in the hospital," he said. "So was it any good?"

"How am I supposed to know? It was my first time," she said, surprised as his calm acceptance.

"Did you come home crying or smiling?"

"I don't know, a little of both maybe. Well, I wasn't thinking very clearly – why are you asking me that anyway?" she asked, flustered.

"You're the one who brought it up. I just wanted to know if I had to kill him," he laughed, but there was an edge to his voice that made her wonder if he might be serious.

"Kakashi-sensei!"

"You tell me something like this, what am I supposed to say? Congratulations, you lost your cherry to some useless guy I probably don't approve of." His eye was narrowed as if he was irritated.

If she hadn't been so desperate to talk she never would have come to him. "Iruka-sensei is a lot more sensitive than you. I should have waited and talked to him instead."

"You should have. He likes kids."

"I'm fifteen, I am not a kid. After what I just told you, you still think I'm a kid?" She heard her voice go a little high, and backed off, realizing she was not helping her own case.

"In a manner of speaking, yes. Sex doesn't make you mature, it doesn't make you an adult – and it certainly doesn't make you smarter. You did use protection, right?" he asked.

"I'm not a moron."

"Excellent, the Hokage won't have to get involved," he said, rolling his head back to look at the stars.

"You wouldn't!" Sakura grasped the rough tiles under her as she sat up sharply.

"I would and I still might. Why did you think you had to talk to me about this and not her?"

"I don't know. It would be weird. I don't think she respects me at all."

"And you think I do?"

"Why do you always ask so many questions?"

He laughed. "After my own heart. I'm glad you think so highly of me though - I hardly deserve it."

"Sensei-"

"Sakura, honestly. What do you know about me?" he asked, looking back at her, his eyebrow arched in open interest.

"Ummm, you're one of the five best shinobi in the village, you're a horrible teacher and you're a huge pervert. Does that about cover it?"

"I guess that last part is why you're interrupting my valuable reading time? You thought it wouldn't bother me?"

"Pretty much, yeah," she said.

"Hmh, interesting." Kakashi fidgeted with his book.

"Is it?"

"Yes, because I think it does bother me, and I'm not sure why." He scratched the back of his head, like he was annoyed or puzzled or both.

"Jealous?" A smile twitched at her lips.

"Sakura, you're my student. I could never even think of you in that way," he said.

Sakura half-snorted, half-laughed. "I'll believe that the same day you sell your dirty books, shave your head and join a monastery."

He covered his face with the book again for a moment and then held the battered volume up at her. "Let me put it another way. I'd rather keep such notions in the realm of fantasy. Much less complicated."

"See, this is why you get told all the stuff you don't want to hear. You've always been honest with me," she said with a smile.

"You don't know whether I'm lying."

"Are you?"

"I might be," he said. "What kind of shinobi would I be if I didn't cultivate a secretive and mysterious aura?"

"You mean your attempts to convince people they're talking to a wall, so they'll leave you alone?"

"So observant. Are you trying to get me to kick you off this roof?" He inched over and put his foot square against her rear.

"Sensei!" Sakura yelped.

"Don't 'sensei' me. I was here first. Come back when you've got a real story," he said. His foot dug into her backside hard enough to force a louder squeal out of her, and she was pushed down the tiles almost to the edge.

Gathering her dignity, Sakura hopped away and found a perch of her own on a nearby warehouse watertower. She could see Kakashi's shadowy profile as he laid back down, resting Icha Icha Tactics over his nose again. She thought she could almost hear him sigh in exasperation, and smiled to herself. Wondering what he considered a real story, kept her mind occupied for a long time after, but she never stooped to reading his dirty books.


	2. Smoke

Finding the medic tent at the bivouac site should have been a fairly simple task – the white one with the enormous stylized character for "medic" emblazoned in red on the sides. Alas, both his left tibia and fibula were broken, splinted and his foot dragging uselessly. Kakashi was reduced to using a crutch Tenzou made for him to walk back on. He shambled into camp in a haze of pain and nausea. If only the field medic had been a little more skilled, and had more than a couple of aspirin on hand.

_But_ he knew Sakura was here. All Kakashi had to do was find that pink-haired angel. He could get healed up quick and then back off of the casualty list. Having the strongest living healer in the Fire Country as your former student - no matter how briefly - did have its advantages.

After an unpleasant awkward few minutes of of trying to wend his way through the busy, crowded camp without being dragged into the command tent, Kakashi found what he was looking for. Let in by one of the medic-trainees, Kakashi was greeted with an almost awed "Hatake-taicho!" and the mingled scents of blood, sweat and iodine. He was led to a quiet corner of the tent and given a flimsy folding stool to rest on while the blushing kid ran off - ostensibly to get his supervisor.

There was nothing like a sturdy wall to lever himself down with, so he leaned heavily on the crutch and looked around. Sakura was nowhere in sight, but a number of the cots had curtains around them, with people moving behind rustling and stirring the fabric. He could feel some intense chakra work going on, hearing the sort of operating table chatter that would be unnerving, if he hadn't been subject to it so many times before – sometimes without anesthetic. He didn't sense her among them. Maybe she was taking a break.

"Hmmm," Kakashi murmured and looked up as one of the senior medics approached him. The younger man was untying a surgical mask from his face. He had dark rings under his gray eyes, and a thin, frank mouth. The front of his white uniform was dyed red with blood from shoulder to knee. Kakashi was pretty sure he knew who the medic had been working on and was surprised there was any blood left in him to get on anyone.

"I'm Sadowara Yuki, Hatake-taicho. I'm sure you know the drill," he said, bowing politely.

Kakashi grinned under his mask. He knew he'd heard the man's name before, but couldn't remember where. "I apologize for not doing my job better, Sadowara-san. You shouldn't have to work so hard," he said, and tried to straighten out his leg for him to look at, wincing.

"I've been hearing some interesting stories as they bring the others in. You came back on your own with that leg?" Sadowara's expression was a mix of disbelief and exasperation.

"I've had worse. Is Haruno Sakura on duty?" he asked.

The medic frowned a little. "Haruno-sempai? I think so."

"Good, I'm requesting her services then. Sooner than later if possible."

"I can see if I can find her. She's had a bad day though," his voice had a sympathetic note to it.

Warily, Kakashi probed further. "A bad day?"

"Lost a patient - someone she was friends with. I don't know the details," he explained.

"Oh." Bad day indeed. "Would you go ahead and heal this then. I'll go and find her myself."

Sadowara was good. Kakashi's leg was healed enough for him to walk on before the hour was out. As long as he didn't do any extreme mountain climbing for a while or get pinned between two Kage-level taijutsu masters again, it would be fine. He had orders to rest for the remainder of the day, and to get a follow up exam in the morning.

His shin and calf were still a little numb but his foot was starting to tingle, and he suspected the pain-blocking jutsu would only last for another hour or so, lest he try to push his newly-mended limb too far, too soon.

Locating Sakura took him around the entire perimeter of the busy camp. She was hiding in the quiet shadow of one of the mess tents, sitting cross-legged on the grass, her pink hair wet and piled on her head in a loose knot. Instead of her uniform she was wearing a loose red kimono and was smoking a cigarette.

He scuffed the dirt and grass underfoot so she'd hear him coming. She looked up at him with one of those dangerous expressions she'd learned from Tsunade. This was her version of if-this-isn't-good-you're-dead.

"What?" she said, exhaling smoke. It occurred to him in that moment he'd never met someone who was as beautiful as they were terrifying.

"I thought I'd join you," he said, and didn't wait for her to give him permission, sitting down next to her. He took out the engraved cigarette case from one of the pockets in his flack vest, and grimaced at the fact that it looked like something sharp had recently almost put a hole through it. Only one of the cigarettes was still good.

"You smoke?" she said, watching him tug his mask down with interest, as he lit up.

"You can't be anymore surprised than I am that you do, too," Kakashi said.

Sakura frowned, examining his face intently. Hadn't he ever had his mask down around her? He couldn't remember. "Only sometimes. So I guess you know about Kino?"

"Vaguely. It wasn't your fault. He ran into someone who used the element that opposed his, and his back-up got knocked out, too." It was all he knew from the reports he'd had time to read.

"Where were you?" she asked, as she put the butt of her cigarette out on the ground beside her.

"Dragging myself back to the safe house. Broken leg. Gai got a little too excited."

Her eyes flicked down to his crossed legs. "Who healed it for you?"

"Sadowara - I think that was his name."

She looked up, and gave a surprised laugh. "Oh good, he's a great medic. Funny though, that reminds me."

"Funny?"

"I don't know if you remember. Four years ago you kicked me off a roof, and told me to come back with a better story."

"Er - oh yeah, now I remember." He had no idea what she was talking about. "So do you have one?"

"I think so. Or at least now I know how it ends," Sakura said. There was a truly frightful gleam in her big, jade green eyes. She leaned forward and plucked the cigarette from the corner of his mouth, and put it out.

"How's that?" Kakashi tried to ignore the fact that she hadn't sat back yet, and had just hooked her forefinger into the front of his vest. He couldn't ignore the fact that the zipper moving down though.

"Well, you see, it ended with a cigarette."


End file.
